May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize