i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
