she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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