Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
