3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
