i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
