ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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