I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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