He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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