She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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