Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
