god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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