flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
