She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
