I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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