I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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