??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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