I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
