he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
