Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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