made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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