that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
