Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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