I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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