The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can't turn off my feet"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
