And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
