I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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