After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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