I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
