There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
