my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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