Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
