After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize