I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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