He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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