I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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