At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize