If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
