you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
