Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
