pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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