new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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