Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
