Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
