It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
