Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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