You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize