that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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