I'm drive I can fine osifer
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
