hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
