fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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