what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
