Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
