he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
