and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
