How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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