its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
