new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
