I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
