apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
