Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
