all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize