She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize