we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
