you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
