Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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