happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize