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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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