sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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