That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drunk is not a location!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
