She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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