I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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