I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
