please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She swung at the pinata with crutches
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
